Choices of Love
by ravenbow
Summary: Edward tries to get back to his own home to return to his love, but others are distracting him. Who will he choose? EdxAl.E, EdxAl.Hei, EdxRoy, Probably more. Yaoi. EDIT! SPOILERS! DISCONTINUED.
1. Hesitation

Okay… so this is my first FullMetall Alchemist fanfiction. It has yaoi, for those of you who are reading my work for the first time and don't know me well. I've had a crazy obsession with the pairing Edward and Alphonse Elric.

And yes dimwits, it's yaoi. There will be sex, and fluff. Between two guys. So get over it. If you don't like it, don't read it. If you do like it, feel free to read/review/squeal/faint. Any of the sort. I'm totally okay with it.

Enjoy

* * *

Edward woke up lazily from another near-sleepless night. He sat up, resting his right arm on his knee, fixing his left arm so he could rest back on it. Half-lidded eyes from exhaustion were plainly seen. He looked to his right where the window was located. It would be as black as a pit if the moon wasn't out. Its clear-white streams of light snaked through the threads of the curtains. 

Again, Edward had woken up from another dream about Al, his dear little brother. Dreams of his brother in their earlier years, when they were being taught by their teacher, Izumi Curtis.

Tears seeped to the corners of his eyes as he thought of Al's laugh traveling through the sky as he ran around with the neighborhood cats. Other random memories, like when they had spared, when Ed fixed Al's armored body, and many more flushed into his mind. He covered his hands with his eyes, slight sobs escaped his lips. He shut his eyes in anguish. His hair was out of the tie that held it back, and yellow, glossy hair spilled over his face and shoulders, hiding him from the world.

Alphonse woke up that same night; he had just gotten out of the lavatory when he heard those sobbing sounds. He sighed in disappointment. He had heard that sound before from the boy's mouth. As he walked closer to Edward's room, the sound got slightly louder.

He contemplated what Ed would do if he knocked on the door. He decided to anyway, and did so.

_Bonk bonk_

"Ed…" Alphonse whispered. "Edward?.. Are you up?"

Edward's sob cut short, he sniffed. He pulled his hands down from his face, but only returned them to wipe away the over-used tears from his eyes. He coughed once he was done, and made sure to wipe away at his eyes once more, to catch any loose-falling tears.

Then, once he thought he pulled himself together, he replied to the call;

"Yeah…" His voice cracked as he said it.

He cursed under his breathe. This wasn't the first time Alphonse heard him crying.

Alphonse asked to come in, and without receiving any sort of no from Edward, proceeded to. He cracked the door open slowly, and slid in just as such. He closed the door behind him and leaned against the cherry-wood. His head was tilted down, so when he looked up at Ed through his bright blonde hair, his eyes looked sweet and innocent.

Edward's chest flamed when he saw the sight. The face of his brother so easily fixed on another's face. They even had the same name! The only difference was that Al's hair was more dark and brown, and his eyes were a hue of hazel-grey. And he was younger… much younger.

He looked up at Alphonse. He tried to smile, but it was lazy from sleep.

Alphonse sighed, "another dream about 'you're world'?'" He didn't add any emphasis to the words for Ed's sake, or more his own.

Edward chuckled forlornly, and raked a hand through his long hair. He closed his eyes.

"Like tonight would be any different…" he sighed quietly.

Alphonse knew he had the face of Edward's 'brother', and he was sure it hurt whenever Ed looked at him. But even though Alphonse was usually carefree and easy-going, he was in the most pain he would probably ever feel.

"Do you… wanna talk about it? Or something else to get your mind off things?"

Edward smiled and shook his head slightly. He looked at Alphonse with his lazy smile and replied,

"No, that's alright… I'm gonna try to get back to sleep… I'm sorry I woke you Alphonse."

"Oh, it's okay, you didn't wake me. I'll see you in the morning. Good luck getting to sleep."

"Night." Ed said, rolling onto his left side.

Before Alphonse left, he saw Edward's blanket on the ground. He picked it up and laid it over Ed's body, receiving a "Thanks" and small smile in the process. He saw Ed snuggle under the cover as he closed the door.

He headed back to his room. As the door closed, he thought of how he could tell…

To tell Edward would remove every ounce of guilt of pain from his heart, whether he was rejected or not.

If Edward was really going to get back to his own world, then he had to tell him soon. Otherwise, without him knowing, Alphonse would hate himself for the rest of his life.

"To tell Edward that I love him… Heh. What a burden-breaker that would be."

Alphonse Heidrich laughed into his pillow forlornly. He brought the covers up to his chin and fell asleep.

* * *

Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I didn't realize how short this was... TT

Sooo? How is it so far... I need reviews people! Though I'll probably keep up with this story, no matter if people like it or not.

Oh well, second chapter will hopefully make up for the lack of story.


	2. Blissful Dreams

Angst much? - Answer is yes. lol

Love' likes the angst.

Will Alphonse find the courage to tell Edward? Read and find out...

* * *

Edward turned in his sleep. His blanket slid down to his waist as he shifted. He smiled in his sleep as splashes of color and fantasy played behind his eyelids. 

"_Nii-san!"_

_The cheery and vibrant laugh warmed Ed's heart as the sound traveled to his ears. His little brother's laugh could be heard a mile away. _

_Edward looked over their hometown that he so longed to return to other than in his dreams. His head turned, looking over his left shoulder and grinned happily as he saw his brother's bright, shining eyes and luxurious smile. _

_He faced him as he saw Al's smile turn into a playful smirk. Ed readied himself, but soon fell to the grassy hill below his feet as he was tackled to the ground. He laughed as he wrestled with his brother. The warmth of Al's skin, his caramel brown hair, the blue of his State Alchemist jacket flapping in the wind that looked so much like his own red one that he was wearing; it was sensational._

_Shocked hazel-grey eyes stared up at him as Ed pinned Al to the ground. They both burst into laughter. _

_As Edward looked down at his brother, he beamed in triumph. His eyes widened as his little brother wrapped his arms around his neck and brought him down into a fierce and loving hug. Edward smiled._

_The blonde returned the hug, wrapping his arms around his brother's back, chuckling in the process. Alphonse failed to hold back the slight shiver that ran down his back as Edward's warm breath tickled his neck._

"_Oh Nii-san!" his eyes filled with happiness. _"_I'm so glad. We did it! We really did it!" Alphonse' smile grew larger, if at all possible._

"_Yup, that's right. You've got your body back now! How does it feel?"_

"_It's wonderful, Nii-san! The smell of flowers and grass, the wind blowing through my hair… my _hair_!"_

_As Alphonse raked his fingers through his hair excitedly, Ed laughed. He broke his laughter with a content sigh. He reached his right hand up to his brother's cheek. His hand was back to normal; all traces of auto-mail were gone, as well as in his leg._

"But_…most of all..."Alphonse paused, "the warmth of you skin…" Al gazed deeply into Edward's eyes; their eyes became locked. Ed slowly placed his left hand under his brother's ear on the beginning of his jaw line, holding his brother's head gently._

"_Al… How I've longed to see you like this again."_

"_Nii-san…" Alphonse whispered as he hugged around Ed's neck once more._

_Ed wrapped around his brother's waist attempting to bring them closer together then pulled his head away. He kissed his brother's cheek._

"_I've missed you so much Al…"_

"_I've missed you Nii-san."_

_Edward and Alphonse parted just enough so they could see each other's eyes. Alphonse' lips started to be dangerously close to Edward's own, and then..._

Edward woke up. The sun was spilling through the window; it shined straight onto his face. He cursed the damned fireball for waking him from his blissful fantasy. His heart and chest started to swell with pain once more as he realized it was only a dream after all.

"**Damn it!!**" Edward screamed.

He covered his eyes with his hands.

_'But it felt so _real... _he was so close!' _

He lay in his position for some minutes before finally summoning up the will to move off his lazy ass and get dressed. As he did so, a light knock was heard at the door.

"Edward?" It was Alphonse.

"Hnn?" was his only response.

"Are you up and moving?"

Edward laughed for a light effect. "What are you; my mother?"

He heard the other boy laugh. "I'm almost done making breakfast; hurry up if you don't want it to be cold."

"Yeah, yeah."

Edward got his clothes together and went to his room's bathroom. A quick five-minute shower would do for now. He got his white shirt and brown vest with matching brown pants on. His black knee-high socks covered his feet. Grabbing his shoes, he ran down the stairs and ate breakfast with Alphonse. They both finished hurriedly, and both headed out the door to take on the day.

Edward walked through the front door greeted by the smell of dinner cooking. He leaned against the back of the chair after he stretched his arms and yawned obnoxiously.

"So how was your day, Edward?" Alphonse asked as he turned to face Edward. He leaned his back against the stone-grey counter-top of the kitchen. He crossed his arms and smiled at his friend.

"It was slow and it sucked," was his response as he sniffed the savoring flavors that wafted through the room in slow currents.

Alphonse laughed.

"Ah… what are you making? It smells great."

"Stew with garlic bread," he winked at Ed, "your favorite."

Edward smiled and waited for the food to finish. He looked around; at the green clock that showed 10:30 pm, then he found himself scanning over the counter... and that's when he saw it. A white carton with that damned cow on it.

"Alphonse Heidrich…" His voice sounded deep and threatening.

"Yes Edward." Alphonse stirred the contents of the pot with a smile. He knew Edward would see it sooner or later. "What are you using the milk for…"

"The stew."

"That's it! I'm not eating it!"

He went on about how Alphonse knew that he hated milk, and Alphonse cut him off saying, "Oh, Edward. You're so dramatic. Every other time that I've made this stew, I've used milk, and you haven't complained about it. You can't taste the milk in it anyway, can you?"

Alphonse smirked as Ed stared at him blankly.

Edward snorted as he remembered all the times he ate this stew.

He felt stupid now. He growled and crossed his arms after he plopped down into his chair at the table. After about two minutes of scowling at the wall, he heard a clank noise of china touching the table. White steam could be seen curling through the air. The smell of meat, vegetables, garlic, and gravy filled Ed's nose.

The dark-haired blonde gaped at the bowl of food with wide eyes. Alphonse laughed and closed Edward's gaping mouth. Alphonse got his bowl and began eating his own food.

"It's not gonna go anywhere unless you eat it, Edward," Alphonse said with humor obvious in his voice. "And try not to get drool on the table," he added tauntingly.

Ed wiped the slight drool from his mouth and began inhaling his meal. Between bites he and Alphonse would bring up interesting conversations, some laughs escaping from Alphonse's mouth as Edward told another 'tall tale' about his world. It included his little brother as always.

After Edward finished eating, he sat back and sighed happily.

"That was great! Thanks, Alphonse!"

The blonde was taking his last few bites when he realized he had put milk out for Ed. His own glass was empty.

He reached over and drank Ed's glass of milk, placed it on the table, and then rested his chin on laced fingers. His arms were propped up and he smiled delightedly. He was proud of his ability to cook, and he knew without him, Ed would surely starve.

"You're very welcome."

They sat in silence for some time, just looking around. Edward had slid down in his chair and crossed his fingers, laying them on his abdomen.

Alphonse was watching Edward, scanning over his whole body. He was taken back by the shine in Edward's golden hair, his yellow eyes, and his flawless but slightly tanned skin. He decided he would tell Edward… some time tonight.

He wiped his mouth clean with his napkin, making it seem like there was gravy still on his lips but was actually checking for drool from starring at Ed for so long…

He got up but was stopped by a waving hand from Edward. He took the used dishes, placing them quietly in the sink and turned on the water. He rolled up his sleeves and started washing them. It was his week to clean the dishes after all.

Alphonse resumed his place at the table, and he rested his chin in his hand. He smiled gratefully at Edward's back. He felt like he was in heaven; to be able to watch Edward without him noticing...

Once Edward was finished, he turned the water off, threw the sponge into the sink, and used the towel hanging on the hook above to dry off. Suddenly, Alphonse broke the 15-minute silence.

"Edward… I want to tell you something…"

Edward turned around slowly, while Alphonse looked to the floor bashfully.

* * *

Awwh! Alphonse is so cute!! 

Will he really tell him?... Probably, but you don't know that.

Will add another chapter soon!


	3. Walls are Broken, Bonds are Formed

D:

I got really excited when I was writing this. I was pretty eager to read what my mind was writing down.

Enjoy!

* * *

Edward's eyes got wider with anxiousness. He didn't like the sound of hesitation in Alphonse's voice. He stared at his friend with anticipation, sure that worry was easy to see on his face.

"What is it Alphonse... Is something wrong?"

Alphonse was trembling unconsciously; this was so hard to bring up the courage for. He felt Edward's hand sit comfortingly on his left shoulder. His light blue eyes were covered with his brilliant blonde bangs, and he smiled from the warmth and caring of Ed's touch.

"Edward… I…"

He straightened his spine, thankful that Edward's touch had not faltered. He slowly reached up to Edward's hand with his own shaky one, and grasped it gently. His grip had become tense around Edward's hand, and he pulled it down in front of him.

"I'm sorry… it's so hard to say this…"

Edward's suspicion was leading on. But nonetheless, he didn't yank his hand back. He wasn't frightened by his jumped-to conclusion. He understood how hard it was to express feelings through words.

"I think I'm in love with you, Edward…"

It was unintentional, but Edward flinched slightly, the shake moving through to his hand. He grasped Alphonse's hand tighter, trying to tell him that he wasn't afraid, he wasn't rejecting him all together, because Edward cared a lot about him. But he couldn't help the feeling of sadness, that he couldn't fully return those feelings Alphonse had for him.

"Since when… did you… " Edward whispered out.

"Ever since that night… the first day you and _I _met. The night when I saved you…"

Alphonse had strained on the word 'I'. He knew about Edward's world, and how he so resembled Edward's little brother.

Instantly, the flashback of that night entered their minds.

His face tensed. Edward held Alphonse's hand tighter as the painful memory of that night rushed back to him.

_Edward was sitting in the middle of a giant domed room. Confused and lost, his memory of what had just happened flew back to his mind. _

He had tried restoring Al's body, and in doing so was thrust in front of the gate. The door's had opened, revealing his brother's shadowed figure showing on the other side. Edward called out his brother's name, reaching his hands out. The figure was reaching toward him as well, and he could hear his brother's voice, calling out to him as well. Their hands grasped the other's, and before they could realize it, they automatically switched places and were moving away from each other, this time, their determination was overcome. They called out to their brother again, and Edward was dragged to the other side of the gate, and he heard the sound of the gate slamming shut, the sight of his brother's body vanishing before his eyes.

_Edward now sat in the middle of an Alchemic circle, smashing the ground with his auto-mail fist. _

_He held his aching head with his hands, and arched his head back, screaming to the ceiling,_

"_AL!!!!!!!!!!"_

_Suddenly, he saw men circling him, armed with guns. He looked around him, his head snapping to the left and back to the right. He unconsciously sprinted to the only exit, and took a sharp left down the brown corridor. _

_The bronze statues passing by were just a blur to his vision. His eyes were being drowned with tears as was his vision. He ran out of the main entrance, and into the town ahead of him. It was pouring outside, the sky was dark from night and heavy clouds, but it couldn't have been late. His assumptions were proven from the town square clock that read 10:30 pm. He heard yelling behind him. He looke back, then continued running._

_His legs brought him into a cluster of houses. He ran down one of the allies, no one seeing him on the streets, and found a tower of boxes. He slipped trying to turn and collapsed behind the cardboard. He shuffled his feet together and hid from the men chasing him._

_Edward's fingers raked through his soaking wet hair as he held his head. His body was shaking and his breathing was labored. His teeth were clenched and bared while his eyes were wide with fear. He brought his knees up to his chest and he hid his face behind them. _

_Edward became still when he heard the men's hollers and orders, shouting out orders to find the boy who had just appeared through the gate._

_As he heard the fading footsteps, his breathing became slightly quieter, but his tears flowed continuously. Once Edward only heard the sounds of rain crashing around him, his had sobs broke out uncontrollably. _

"_Al… why… where am I… what happened?!"_

_He choked out these words between sobs. He felt his chest rising and falling unnaturally._

_His crying and sobs could be heard by all, but none seemed to care. They were all safe in their homes, warm and happy._

In their own world.

_Edward started to curse with a whined voice. He screwed his eyes shut and tried to pull his legs closer to him to keep warm. Suddenly, a yellowy light could be seen in front of him. _

_Edward's breathe hitched. He heard a male voice, but this one was different. It wasn't threatening. _

"_Hello… is anybody there?" The voice cooed out softly._

_As the boy looked around the towered boxes, he saw the trembling Edward. His crying and sobbing was heard over the rushing of the rain fall, and his eyes widened as the light flooded his eyes._

"_Oh my God… are you okay?" the boy whispered. _

_The rain had stopped falling on him courtesy of the umbrella the boy was holding. Edward looked up, frightened from what had happened in the past half hour. His tears were mixing with the rainwater dripping from his hair, his hands still covering his head._

_The boy took off his brown coat and wrapped it around Edward's body, and he picked him up along with the umbrella. He held under his back and under his knees, pressing Edward's body into his own. Edward's body loosened from its tensed state and his pupils became large and blank as his eyelids lowered half way._

"_Hey… can you speak?" the boy asked._

_Edward only nodded._

_He felt his savior's chest shake as he laughed quietly._

"_Well, isn't that convincing? Would you mind telling me your name?"_

_Edward was hesitant at first. "It's Edward… Edward Elric," he choked out._

"_I'm Alphonse. Alphonse Heidrich."_

_Alphonse rose, bringing Edward's limp body up with him in the process. Thudding of boots could be heard as Alphonse carried Edward with ease through the storm._

_The boy lowered the umbrella as a man walked by. _

_Edward's teeth could be heard, chattering from the cold. He yanked the jacket to cover his body more thoroughly. The boy's hold on Edward tightened, pulling him against his chest more. Edward looked up to see short, bright blonde hair and sky blue eyes. _

_Edward nuzzled his face into Alphonse's warm shirt, and after a few minutes, everything went black as he fell asleep. The last thing he saw on that night was Alphonse, looking down at his face, smiling warmly._

The next day after that, he woke up in this house. He'd lived here for the next three years, ever since.

"Ever since then?..." Edward asked; his voice quiet.

"Yes…" Alphonse kept his eyes to the floor.

After a moment's silence, Edward's hand felt hot, and his face did as well. He'd admit it, he was embarrassed. But as he tried to free his hand, Alphonse's face turned and looked up at Edward, and Edward could see the pain in his eyes.

Or… was it fear? He stopped moving his hand, and found himself prisoner to Alphonse's arms wrapping around his body. Edward was crushed against the familiar but ancient warmth of Alphonse's chest. He felt Alphonse's cheek against his stomach as the other tried to bring them closer.

A wet feeling was touching his skin, tears from Alphonse's eyes. Alphonse was shaking and his hot breathe through his thin shirt.

But… why was he crying? What could possibly make him so…

And then it hit him. All this talk of him leaving to his own world, knowing that there was another that was so like him that lived somewhere that he seemed to care about so much more. It must have been terrible for Alphonse to have to endure. After every minute of laughter at Edward's stories, no matter how incredulous they were, he must have always felt anxious afterwards.

"Please Edward… I know you can't return these feelings... but I had to tell you. It was killing me. But please..."

He paused.

"Don't just remember me as 'some guy' if you leave."

Edward instantaneously felt the guilt rush through his body. He reached around his friend's back and hugged him comfortingly.

"Oh, Alphonse…" Edward whispered as he kissed Alphonse's hair.

"I could never throw our memories away like that."

Edward's fingers tightened lovingly.

"I'll never forget you, even if I do find some way to leave. And I could never reject your friendship, not after all that you've done for me."

He felt Alphonse's grip become a little less tight.

"Alphonse… you know I care about you a lot, right?"

He felt Alphonse's head nod slightly. Edward smiled contently, his eyes half-lidded with happiness.

"Good."

Alphonse created space between them and held Edward's hips between his hands.

"But… Unfortunately, I can't return these feelings…"

He could see Alphonse's expression become sad.

"At least… not fully."

A slight sign of expectation glinted in Alphonse's eyes as he looked into Edward's. Edward reached his hands up and held Alphonse's face, wiping away the tears waiting on his cheeks with his thumbs. He looked up at Alphonse through his long bangs and smiled.

He got what he wanted; Alphonse's smiled back. It was small, but he smiled.

" Alphonse, I love and care about you _a lot_. So be careful when you're working with those rockets... please?"

Edward kissed Alphonse's forehead, and hugged him around the neck. His kiss must have left Alphonse in shock, because he didn't hug him before hesitating for a minute.

"Well… I'm gonna go up and get some sleep."

"I think I will as well…"

He let go of Alphonse and felt him reluctantly let go as well. Edward grabbed Alphonse's hand and walked up with him and into his room. Edward led Alphonse into his room and under the quilt of his bed. He snuggled up to Alphonse and felt those familiar arms wrap around him once more. Alphonse's heartbeat was slower now, and the rise and fall of his chest was as well.

Edward's waist was trapped by his friend's arms. He pulled his own around Alphonse's neck softly and pulled him close. He felt Alphonse smiled against his abdomen.

_"I'll let him have his happiness... at least until I find some way to leave... I do love him after all."_

Ed slowly slipped into unconsciousness, a content smile could be seen on his lips.

* * *

Awwh...

This isn't the end, folks. I'll be writing more.


End file.
